Penn
finally lost a tooth that has been loose for months. It fell out in his
Good 2 Go Taco at
Art Conspiracy. He was alarmed and spit it into the trash. I scooped the spit out of the trash and fingered through until I found that tiny piece of youth. And Penn was happy.
That night he hid the tooth in his room because he didn't want the tooth fairy to come get it quite yet. And the tooth fairy didn't come. The next night he put it under his pillow and eagerly awaited the
painstakingly folded money origami that oh-so-creative tooth fairy always left under his pillow. But, the tooth fairy didn't come. He tried again last night, because I assured him the tooth fairy
would come. She was probably too busy last night but he was at the top of her list tonight.
This morning, Penn sulked slowly down the hallway and plopped on the couch. "She didn't come." He looked up at me with the biggest crocodile tears you have ever seen and I couldn't bear to lie for that neglectful tooth fairy woman again.
"I have to tell you something. Momma is the tooth fairy And I forgot. I'm sorry."
Penn looked up and grinned through his tears just a little. I gave him tooth fairy money and apologized profusely. He was sad the rest of the morning. I told him everyone finds out at some point that the tooth fairy isn't real, but he couldn't be the one to tell everyone the big secret. He asked if Papa was my tooth fairy. I told him yes. He perked up considerably before school.
We both felt like we lost more than a tooth. A belief, maybe. Trust. Because now he knows that things aren't always as they seem. Now he is aware that even the most beloved trusted people can look him in the eye and lie their heads off. For fun. I've always hated letting Penn believe the stories of the tooth fairy and Santa and the Easter Bunny. And today was a good reason why.
Sure, it will all just be another notch on his growing up pole, but it doesn't make me feel any better.