Oct 28, 2009
I have a five year old little boy. I love him. He often confounds me. And yet, I almost always know what he's trying to say. I almost always know what he means. I don't always have the patience or take the time to teach him the potentially better, or at least most socially acceptable way, to get his message across. But I think Penn also knows what I am trying to say, even when I could say it better.
Penn and I understand one another. We often speak the same emotional language.
I see Penn as this amazing ball of potential right now. He's reading words to me. He's talking about his friends and the playground. I love the boy he has claimed as his best friend and I admire how he handles himself with other boys when there are natural personality difficulties.
I'm stuck between wanting him to grow and show me everything inside his head and wanting him to please just hold on a second and wait for me.
The baby is so time consuming I feel like I'm missing out on important Penn things. I fear he will resent the time he doesn't get with his mom, but I think I'm probably making that last part up.
Maybe the most beloved thing about Penn is how trustworthy he is. I trust him. That's not something I can teach. That's just who he is.
Being a mom twists my words and feelings up into an inexpressible jumble. Perhaps that's why I quit writing and turned to photography.
Oct 20, 2009
Rain and obligations had us procrastinate the Texas State Fair until the very last day. Big Tex was still there to greet us.
Daniel pulled Penn onto his shoulders for a closer look at a man I dubbed "The Torso." The Torso referred to Penn as "The boy with the man growing out of his butt."
I like the fair. I like the bustle of people and smells of fried foods, the fluff of cotton candy and the romance.
I like watching the people line up to mount colorful machines that twist and twirl screams and laughter through the sky.
I like that there always seems to be more right around the corner. There is no way to look at it all no matter how hard you try.
Because the chaos is so massive my brain launches its tried and true coping mechanism for making sense of the world. I start breaking it all apart into bite sized morsels and gnawing on each piece.
Twice the crowd mentally overwhelmed me and I felt uncomfortable tugging the children through the bottleneck of games and carnival barkers. I yelped for help.
Daniel came back and pushed through the crowd. I drifted behind in his wake.
Towers and balloons fascinate me. This photo is my favorite because it looks like one is going to eat the other.
Daniel spent eight clams to let Penn bungee jump on this trampoline. I'm not sure how to describe it, but the bands allow him to jump really really high. Penn figured out how to flip on an early bounce and from there he was as graceful as a bird. He flipped over and over again. I felt lucky we were in the golden hour.
The fair is a good place to be. I wish I could go back partnered with just my camera for a full exploration. My photos are random images caught between my constant checking that the baby ducks were in a line. The rest is in my head.
...and in this flickr set.
Oct 15, 2009
"Daniel playing guitar" 3rd panel in a series.
Ink on Star Wars notebook paper.
Ink and pencil on copy paper.
"Daniel smoking a cigar"
Pencil and ink on copy paper.
I LOVE Penn's artistic creations. I love seeing what is important to him and how he draws it. Right now his eye flattens everything out but manages to get everything in at the same time. Like Daniel's hat brim in the "smoking a cigar" or the bed in "story time." He's also playing with squiggly and scribble lines as some primitive form of shading. I'm trying to keep everything scanned in. Mostly it's just a mountain in my inbox.
Oct 8, 2009
Oct 6, 2009
Daniel brings me flowers a lot. Daniel does a lot of really amazingly thoughtful things that go a long way. He should teach a class. I'll try not to be too mushy here in such a public forum. But usually the first words I hear every morning are, "I love you." And, get this, don't forget it's first thing in the morning, "You're so pretty."
Hullo?! Can you say jackpot?
Oct 1, 2009
- Post something to your blog.
- Tweet about it.
- Share it on your facebook.
- Email everyone to let them know you've blogged, tweeted and facebooked.
- Leave a voicemail to ask if they got the email.
- Text to remind them you called.
- Repeat three times over the next week to remind them about the information in the original blog post which probably consists of an entire article copy and pasted in place of what should totally be a link.
You're doing it wrong.
"for sale" 15 months 34 38 advice animals anniversary art art conspiracy art danielmiller carissa article audio Austin Avalon babies baby band of puppets baseball basketball bat bike bingo birthday bowling bread breast buffalo Candy capitol carissa Cedric change charity cheetahs christmas city cleaning clouds coffee community connor cookies Costumes crawling cubscouts cupcake cupcakes cycling dallas dance daniel miller danielmiller death decor design doctor dogs duh eco eight months eleven months encouragement endorsement entertainment Ethan events family family portrait feedback fiction first communion flowers food food garden fourteen months friends fun funny garden geek goal gratitude green grief haile wossen hair Hal Samples halloween happy harry moss park heart help holiday house humor inspiration instagram internet iphone johnny citizen kids klyde warren park knitting learn life literature loss love Lucy maple manor hotel margot margot love margot sad mastitis maternity me meme memory mess mom money mosquito mothers day motivation mourning move museum music nana nap neighborhood nine months noise nostalgia oklahoma old red courthouse omg one opinion optimism overseas overwhelmed papa parenting party penn penn summer penn video people photo photo baby photography pinewood derby play playground politics poll portland portrait potatoes pregnant present presents press print procrastinate published pumpkin pie question quote roadtrip sad scary school science fair scones senior seven months Shadow sick sigh six months skateboard skatepark skating soccer soup spring break spring carnival stephan pyles strawberry studio suck sugarfilled summer swiss chard talent show tea technology ten months texas texas state fair thanksgiving the lab third grade thirteen months thriller tip toys travel travel baby tree turkey twelve months twitter unhappy vacation valentines day video wagon want weather wedding weekend what? whoops wish work worry