
no one ever looks at children and says, "are you going to be an artist when you grow up?" it's this bizzarre chemical reaction that happens in people where they are compelled to create enough work on their own steam until someone takes notice. nothing is really official until you declare the major in college, and even then, the doubtful lines like, "so. . .what are you going to do with that degree?" weighs heavy.
i didn't major in creative writing because i didn't believe i could have made a living at it. always the practical with me. i majored in mass communications with an emphasis in film production and a minor in writing, emphasized in journalism. although not "fine art" it is a creative major. though, the art is mostly lost in learning which buttons to push and law classes telling you how to stay out of trouble. there are a lot of buttons. and laws.

in the meantime i painted my ass off. i had the ultimate artists oasis in one beloved old train station converted to an aptartment that i could barely pay rent on. i wrote more words than i may ever write again. it wasn't until i picked up a camera that anyone got beyond, "she's so creative" to "she's an artist." and it wasn't until i heard that line that i realized the importance of that validation.
so i'm here. i know what i'm supposed to do. what i'm supposed to create. and i know where that's going to take me. as much as anyone can. and it's made my inpsirations that much more important and meaningful.
if i tell you i like your art, i really mean it. and i really mean that it's important to me.

when i come across artists i have to look and think and contemplate until i "get it." until it's real. somewhere along the lines some part of that helps me in my own art.
but then there's
hal samples. who's work and person i completely adore. and i get all the "why" and reasoning behind the pieces. but the "how" is totally beyond me. this is a beautifully frustrating experience. i thought for the longest that it had to be the equipment. or maybe, it's that he has the freedom to just go and go and create and shoot without having to plan around daycare and diapers and life.

after a really long conversation with hal i started to feel a little of the underparts of his brain. and realized that That's! where it all comes from. the artist brain is just so amazingly different. there are pieces of grey matter that truly have their own unique vision of the world. art that wouldn't exist without that singular person throwing it out there for us to see.
i can't even express how absolutley fantastic and important this is. so, thanks hal for taking photos and talking and sharing the images with me.
but i still need a new camera. *grin* or a
new lens.