penn started his first day at pre-school today at children's world. i missed my six a.m. alarm and had to start the day off running through the shower and making waffles and coffee and dogfood and shot records magically appear with all of my equipment and a clean baby together and into the daycare at 8:30 so i could be on time to my shoot at 9.
after making sure all the teachers knew this was the first day and to be gentle and kind and for the love of god do not put the baby on a changing table (he's got something against naked butts with altitude) and do not feed him meat i began to leave. from across the room penn's eyes welled up and we ran slow motion over trucks and books and primary colored plastic furniture and hugged. he cried and then, helpme, i cried.
there was no stopping it. we cried and cried and hugged and i didn't want to leave him there for eight excruiating hours so that i could go and play and take pictures of other people's babies. but i did.
i had to fill out some extra forms, with the tears streaming down and lots of onlookers, bent close over the red formica counter to avoid the stares filled with whatever they were thinking. me, handing back soggy carbon copy forms.
and then i had to drive and attempt to suck it up so that i could be professional and take a decent portrait of twin babies.
i had a long break in my schedule and had decided that i was going to have lunch with penn. but my break came during their nap time and realized that i didn't want to sit there and cry with my son at pre-school again.
the daily feedback sheet i get about penn noting diaper changing times, bowel movements, food, etc. said he was "cheerful" and wanted to hang out with the older kids.
it is absolutley impossible to get any of my freelance work done. so now is the time where i'm weighing pros and cons.
*photo by renee good-gurley
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