Dec 27, 2004
i get another A for not handing out great big enormous hints as to what i got benji. i think he was a bit surprised at the tivo i got him.
i know. as if our house really needed more technology.
i recieved a plethora of perfection from the thoughtful mulatto. a beatles "sgt. peppers lonely hearts club band" cd because i only had it on vinyl and penn scratched it trying to play baby-dj-scratch-'em-up. i also got a book.
then benji said something like, "i wanted to get you a radio put in your car, but i couldn't figure out how to get your car away from you and you not know what was going on." to which i replied "awwww, that's so sweet. that's okay. besides, i really thought the new camera lens was a birthday/christmas combo." and i wasn't lying, i really thought it was a great birthday/christmas combo gift.
the next day benji said, "you wanna go get the radio put in your car today?"
whaa?! i thought he meant he wanted to get me a radio, but didn't. what he really meant was he got me a radio, he just didn't get it put in.
so now. after more than a year since my cd player was ripped from the dashboard leaving a gaping rusty hole, i have another cd player! it's weird to hear music after listening to the roar of the road and the flapping of the tape holding the passenger side window up for a year. also, my bumper is hanging off. you'd think the theives would just keep strolling, eh? one can always hope.
yay benji. yay tivo. yay cd players. yay babies. yay.
after lunch we went to turtle creek, admistered middle of the day egg nog buzzes, and walked for hours commencing the first in a long, soon to be tradition, of christmas walks. we had a blast. pictures below. my father came in from ar-kansas that evening where i cooked a scrumptious meal despite the screaming of the hungry child and we opened, yet more presents. many were my old toys getting passed down to penn. how effing cool is that!
tomorrow we are off to memphis to visit friends and family. we'll be gone until the first. i will have internet access at our visiting abode, but i'm not sure how much time i'll have to actually get on . . .i don't really have time now for all the packing and dishes to be done. this post is actually not a post. it is actually creative procrastination, meaning, it is a creative way to procrastinate, not an actual creative post. but i'm sure if you've made it this far you've already figured that out.
happy new year, all!
all about the presents. we colored on penn's in leu of bows. the one that says "for penn" also says "ha! daddy mispelled your name!" the scribbly one on the top benji notes defensivley, "it's abstract art!"
here's benji waiting on penn to "come here." "come here" is working less and less these days. the boy has the approriate patience level for a one year old (meaning none) yet if you ask him to come with you (meaning walk on his own) he is probably quite capable of standing there and staring at you for hours.
Dec 25, 2004
i am a brown paper bag wrapper. so, we've a pile of brown packages. benji and my dad got a bow----a strip of an old red pillow case that was accidently left in my dryer at an old apartment where we had to share machines. the strip is wrapped around the package and tied uniquely in knots. a piece of handmade paper given as a housewarming gift (thanks alberto) serves as the tag.
we took the crayon's to penn's presents and made abstract art.i have stockings and there are things in my stockings! even though i didn't get anything to put in the stockings because i didn't think we were going to do that.
i have a christmas tree! a little pointed bonzai in a red pot and he is terribly adorable and a little chic. i have christmas lights around my kitchen window, and their festive glow is such that i might leave 'em up until we move.
the baby fell asleep early after the christmas dinner forage at the grocery store. we will be having pecan encrusted salmon, green bean almondine, noodles with garlic, butter and parmesean, spinache salad, and banana pudding. i am so excited that i don't have to look at a turkey or a ham!
i have the remanence of a nice egg nog buzz and one foot rubbed. the other foot is waiting on benji to finish his poop.
we are watching/reading "the bicycle thief" and i am ooh-ooh-oohing at the excitement of christmas eve! mostly due to benji and i's talk about the anticipation of presents and hoopla when we were little, and how it dies away when you get older, and how presents don't always come on the 25th, and how we don't really do anything different.
but this year, there is the baby who knows what's going on, unlike last year, where my baby was not even four weeks old and knew nothing except that he was not in his own home and was surrounded by over stimulation causing me to hide out in the back bedroom with him, away from benji's family gathering, and listen to him uncharacteristically cry for so long i had no choice but to join in and beg benji to take us home.
this year is mine all mine, ours all ours. no bedrooms to hide in. no unconsolable over stimulated babies. just us. at home. amen.
benji has finished his poop. time for the other foot.
merry christmas to all! may yours be as wonderful and stress free and yummy as mine.
Dec 23, 2004
latest card for the engaged couple. polaroids are fun. benji and can't think of one bad memory that involves a polaroid.
it's snowing in texas! snow awakens every elementary urge in me to run outside and pelt someone with a tightly packed snowball. snow causes me to run mad through any open space, my head held back and my mouth wide open ready to catch all those tasteless little snowflakes. snow makes me happy. makes me watch the news and laugh at the southern bastards in their suv's turned sleds blocking up the highways.
literally, there were 20 wrecks reported in one hour this morning.
you see, in the south, when anything falls out of the sky besides rain, everyone shuts down. the percipitation renders everyone helpless and paranoid. most sit inside and stare out the windows at the powerlines, clutching their canned food, bottled water and candles.
me? i grin like an idiot all day long. i step outside every twenty minutes. i stare at each magical snowflake that melts on me until i am quite hypnotized and ready to do whatever the snow asks of me.
i summoned all of my elementary urges this afternoon and placed them upon the unwiling heads of my benji and my child. we put on our marshmellows (code word for puffy coat) and our hats and our shoes. we double-team tortured penn getting him out of the pooh suit and shodding his feet with the "real" shoes, instead of the gecko robeez that i feared would not keep out the wet.
note the suspicion on their faces in the picture above.
we walked to the park and they both hated it. benji muttered things about the tundra and penn just sat there in his marshmellow repeatedly asking me why the hell i needed to spend 15 minutes shoving him into clothes and a marshmellow and then take him to the place daddy calls the tundra.
BECAUSE! BECAUSE IT'S SNOWING! ENJOY THE DAMNED SNOW FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!
but they didn't. so we walked back home. backwards.
yesterday it was 60-something. maybe higher. it was no-jacket weather! and today----today benji took a snow day and stayed home to work. woo-ha! here's to wishing it does this all week. except for christmas, so my dad can come visit. and then, back to snow.
Dec 22, 2004
penn is addicted. absolutley addicted. a few of his favorite things to do are run around naked after his bath (note above), bang on one of the three computers in our house (note above again), and play video games.
he is newly one year old and he understands well the capabilities of technology in this house. and sure. he'll bang on any computer. and he will cry if you make him stop. but what he really likes is the sound program on benji's computer that he can start and stop with the space bar while he dances naked on the desk. who wouldn't love that? i haven't seen benji dance naked on his desk ---but penn had to learn it from someone, didn't he?
in the morning there is the morning ritual which consists of many things you probably don't care about and i won't bore you with. things like waking up and getting the baby a beverage, going back to bed, waking up again, making our new concoction of squished fresh bananas in oatmeal, and then, back to the subject at hand, watching penn go into daddy's room to get the playstation controller and bring it to me while i put up the highchair.
the fun part about this whole scenerio is that the cord will only go so far before it snaps the baby back onto his butt.
he loves the game and i am not sure how i feel about this. i'm certain i don't want him to watch benji play his "prince of persia" game where people get cut in half and groan to heavy metal music. but, i'm also certain video games aren't the end of the world and penn enjoys making things move on the screen. i can't pretend games don't exist, especially in this house.
i bought tetris because i can play tetris and i don't worry about any confusing decapitating mesages. soaking into penn's sponge brain. i'll leave this, as it's going to be a reacurring dilema.
penn is addicted to the phone, the computers, the game, the light switches, the temperature controll, the camera, the dvd player, the playstation 2, the xbox, the video camera and the cats. thank god he's also addicted to books.
it will be a fine and well controlled experiment as to how the plugged-in children will turn out.
tonight's success story: after laying in bed for an hour with penn, playing, slobbering, and rolling around, i got up. penn usually falls asleep when i put him down and he never knows i've left the room. but, he will have to learn how to fall asleep by himself soon. there are many reasons he hasn't learned this yet. i say this because at least a couple of you out there have probably sucked all the air out of the room with your gasping.
he would fall out of the bed, people. right out onto his head if i left. what. you want my baby to fall on his head? now that he knows how to get out of the bed feet first, it is time to learn.
so after an hour, i got up. and he got out of the bed and banged on the door and let out the most heart wrenching "ma-ma's!" i sat by the bedroom door, curled up knees to chin while benji verbally admitted from the kitchen, "that's a hard one." after two minutes, he crawled right back to bed and tucked himself in making the mental note that the world didn't end when i left the room.
Dec 21, 2004
which is also to say that it is hard. i tried them recently. and it was hard. and every day when penn and i go to the park i make sure to give those horizontal ladder shaped teasers of youth a good glare.this a.m. one of my most cherished friends and god-mommy to the pennster, jonelle, asked if i could quick come up with something for her holiday cards. she e-mailed some photo's a friend had taken of her and her wolf-dog, dylan, for me to work with. after a confusing verbal tangle over what she was going to do with the design, and how she was going to do it. (the word "kroger" actually came up) she said wanted something that would show who she is.
i know who nella is. she is smart, sleek, quirky, thoughtful, artistic, funny, kind, female, hormonal, literate, deep, and has really good taste.
now, i don' t know that the following design actually illustrates my description of nella-boo, but this is the card i started for her.
started, but didn't finish. upon sending her this version she said, "i don't really want something so modern, maybe more natural."
the instant message type was cold and assumed what i was doing was simple.
so i let out a couple of hefty unecessary sighs that my beloved jojojellybean couldn't hear through the computer and we set off defining terms like "organic" and "modern" and i started making up words like "illustrator value" because i couldn't think of another way to describe a certain element.
she listed specifics.
-the dog just had to be wearing the horns
-i had to use a picture of her she had sent (i used a pic i had taken of her in the first card)
-there had to be nature in the background, preferably the actual nature in the picture
-nothing drawn on
-and overall ORGANIC.
i was frustrated. in the frustrating way and, more importantly, in the I'm-glad-this-is-happening-now-with-a-friend kind of way. because. you see. i have had to listen to benji bitch a ho-bunch about pleasing the client, but i have not actually had to experience it first hand.
this was THE perfect opportunity to see if i could get out what jonelle was trying to describe. bonus: nella and i've seen one another through the thick and thin so there was the slight chance i could just yell out "holy shit!" at any moment and she wouldn't fire me or i wouldn't quit.
i ended up with this
and still, i used a leaf thing that i had already gotten her dissaproval on due to the "illustrator value" that she didn't like. i was sure the leaf thing didn't have "illustrator value" and used it anyway.
she hasn't seen it yet, so i don't know if i've won or not. we'll see what she thinks. the lesson is pretty priceless. and it gives me a good excuse to talk to her.
---miss you nella!---
**click pictures to enlarge
Dec 20, 2004
some people are just meant to be together. i had the privledge of meeting and photographing one of those couples today.
they're so happy! sweet and disgustingly fairy tale-type happy and we had SO MUCH FUN despite our cold runny noses, watery eyes, and the groom-to-be's pants that looked like they were shat on, but it was really leaky chair juice.
shown here are a spattering of the engagement photos we took. wedding photos will be up after their wedding in late may.
Dec 19, 2004
and we all go about our day.
Dec 18, 2004
-------oh, wait. it's just a piece of scotch tape.
1) dump all of the clean clothes out of the laundry basket.
2) carry it around everywhere.
3) laugh when mom puts it on her head.
4) laugh when mom puts it on my head.
5) see how it looks in every room.
6) see how it looks on the balcony
7) cry when mom shuts the door before she realizes I NEED MY LAUNDRY BASKET!
8) giggle and fall on my face when mom opens the door so i can get my laundry basket.
9) turn the laundry basket on its side, crawl in and sit there for a long time.
10) stop and look really really cute for this picture.
Dec 17, 2004
the barking of the barking dogs who like to bark a lot and all the time and even more when penn takes a nap
penn waits two minutes before the trash truck comes by, beeping and clunking and tipping the hobo gyms upside down spilling the stinky contents into the stinky truck. (i am using the term "hobo gym" in jest as our local homeless love to climb on it. you are free to use the term, no hate mail please, that is, unless you have a life, can take a joke, you are funny, and you don't mind if i post it for all the world to see.)
to accompany the beeping clunking trash truck there are the barking dogs who love a good bark at a noisy trash truck. their bark is a very good dog bark, a loud, deep, big-dog style dog bark and it goes on and on forever and ever. well, it must, because it takes a long time for the message to spread, "101 dalmations" style, from one yard to the next until the very last dog at the end of the neighborhood understands that the beeping clunking trash truck is heading their way. and according to the Dog Law of Dog, no one is not allowed to stop barking until every last dog has barked and every last trash truck is gone.
the barking of the barking dogs, of course, commences right on time, which is five minutes after whenever penn's eyes are peacefull closed and he is soundly napping while i am in the shower enjoying cleanliness.
then, of course, penn cries, i have to rush and get out, and my self control is tested. i have succeeded every day since moving into this dog-ridden neighborhood at holding my head back from the window and yelling obscenities into the canine world. only because i'm sure it would backfire and the dogs would turn all their yapping heads precisley towards my apartment at the very angle that would increase the barking volume that in is in no need of any more volume.
the dog barking, the trash trucks, the men working on the roof next door, and etc., are audible only when the baby is asleep and only to myself as once penn's eyes close my super power hearing comes to light. every last cabinet must be shut with the most gentle hand, every load of clothes in the dryer must be caught before the buzzer, every dish must remain right in that sink because, in case you didn't know, dish washing is one of the loudest household duties known to man.
as the baby's eyes close my eyes glaze over with nap protecting bitchiness. any sound not pre-approved results in immediate eviction, unless you are benji and pay the rent. if you are benji and you pay the rent, you are subject to being sent to your room with your headphones.
in conclusion: penn is super awake and displaying zero anger towards the barking dogs who bark at trash trucks and/or nothing. he is quite happy, and gobbling leftover three cheese quiche and grapes in the living room using his eating super power that combines daintiness and messiness and the ability to eat as much as me and not be humongus. he's watching "blues clues" who's guest star is that country chick that got fat and told everyone about it on oprah.
angie fisher has a really classic and controlled voice. like old school and new all mixed up into one throat. very nice. she's currently doing back-up for clay aikin. i just saw her on "the view" the other day. benji was downstairs in the parking lot getting in his car and i ran out onto the balcony to yell to all of uptown dallas, "angie's on the tv with barbara walters and clay aikin! if you click through the site you'll see a lot of my pics. if you click on "clef notes" and then click on "angie fisher epk" you'll see the video benji did about her. the song it starts out with makes penn stop and smile every time so that i have to sing it to him all day long, just to get that smile. i wear off after a while, but angie always makes him smile.
there's also terrel shahid. he's a great jazz musician and i think his jazz band was nominated for a grammy. this record is composed of a different band. i didn't do all of the photos on the site, but quite a few and all the ones in the gallery. he's quite an interesting cat. a brain way into the future of his career and a life that is worth making a movie out of. in fact, they're talking about the possibilites of that right now. he also has phenominal hair.
benji did the music video "flavorhood" which is a duet by the two mentioned, but they're having trouble getting anything but a mac to play it online. the video starts and ends in a gallery in ny and has all of our ny pics in it. i'll let you know when it goes up. you can see the new york pics at my folio site.
benji's next music video which will be shot soon is for az yet. an old school band making a big come back.
you can go to innersoul records to learn about the label benji works for and if you click "learn more about one disc" you'll see a video benji did and hear his voice.
there's also this one other thing that benji has done for the company that he doesn't want me to tell you about, but he says if enough people ask for it, then he might let me tell you. i warn you though, be careful what you wish for .. ..
if i got anything wrong i beg of benji to correct me via the comment button.
Dec 16, 2004
sometimes i think parents take the whole gift giving thing too seriously. they just walk into malls and lose their minds. but, now i know why. it's the loveliest experience to hand your child something you got for him and watch him like it. sure, we hug and play games and go on piggy back rides and to the park and to playgrounds and we read and go on walks . . . .but i love to get him new things, just to see what he'll do. before penn, i thought that children just had entirely too much stuff. i didn't think all those toys were necassary. but they do teach them things and give them something to do all on their own.
penn isn't desperatley into toys. he likes all the around the house things i give him. right now he's pretty fond of an old coffee container, ben-wa balls, a wooden spoon, and a washed out beer bottle. but today, he played and played with his toys all morning.
i went in search of a truck for him. at the park last week penn played with a little boys tow truck, which was just really cool. you could pull the string out of the end and then push a lever to suck it back up. penn had so much fun with it and when i found it online it was only $6.99. cheap and sold out everywhere. so, we settled on a tonka dump truck, which he seemed to enjoy.
we also got connect four. i know, he's only one. but, he likes little things en masse and i think he'd have a swell time sticking the checkers in the holes and then watching them all fall out. we can play the real game later. he got magnetic letters to go on the fridge and a sweatsuit on sale. yay christmas for giving me a good excuse to get penn toys.
i also played with my new stupid-expensive macro lens today. ben kept saying i needed a zoom lens and i kept saying i needed a macro. the zoom was four times cheaper than the macro. well, if i had known that . . . . so, i took a few pics around the house, posted below. the depth is amazing.
i think i have an interview tomorrow for a fashion shoot! i say "think" because she e-mailed me, but when i e-mailed back the letter was "undeliverable." i called, but no one was home and she needed to meet today or tomorrow. so. fingers crossed. i also have a shoot this weekend and am talking to someone considering me for their wedding.
when i'm proactive, things just keep coming. but, let me get lazy for a minute and it gets slow. things seem to be picking back up again, thank goodness, because even though i got off super cheap on penn's holiday givings, i didn't with benji.
and so concludes a nice boring post from me. mmmm, creativity to come later, k?
Dec 15, 2004
Dec 14, 2004
and the dmv went and let bad things happen, thereby ruining my birthday.
yesterday, i went to the dmv to get my license. they said all i would need was a copy of my birthcertificate. so, i took them a copy of my birth certificate. and they tell me they cannot take a copy. it must be the original. when penn and i get back to my car, there is a parking ticket. the meters are far away from the cars with arrows pointing to the spot you're paying for. i put the money in the wrong meter. *sigh* so, we turn around and go back in and i explain what happened.
my options are 1) wait 30 minutes to fill out the paperwork to contest the ticket and then get a court date and explain my excuse to the judge. or 2) pay the $20. i paid the $20.
today, i decided to take another dmv beating.
first---to the social security office to get proof of my social security in order to get my new license. drive and drive and drive and drive forever and ever and ever because my directions are wrong and i never find the place.
then---drive to benji's office. we get new directions and he goes with me. we find it like that. godamned mapquest.
we wait and wait and wait in line forever and ever and ever. i tell them my social security number and they print it out. that is my official verification. give me a break.
then we drop off benji and go inside to get new directions to the dmv b/c i notice that the directions i have do not have me ending at the correct address. goddamned mapquest. they had it wrong AGAIN, but after driving around and around and around forever and ever and ever, i stopped and asked someone and found it anyway.
we get there five minutes until they closed. a man locks the door behind me and penn and i wait and wait and wait in line forever and ever and ever again the whole time penn's diaper is full of poop and i don't have time to change it.
we are greeted by a dumpy older hispanic man. i tell him i need to renew my liscense. i tell him i lost my lisense and that it was from arkansas. he tells me the system is down. THE FUCKING SYSTEM IS DOWN! he says to come back tomorrow. i tell him my license expires TODAY and he says i will have to take the written and driving test and apply for a license as if i never had one in the first place.
i tell him that i am sorry his system is down, but that's kind've not my fault and i am here before my license expires, so what should i do? he tells me i've been breaking the law for a year and a half because i'm supposed to get a texas license thirty days after i move here. i ask him how i was supposed to know that. he bypasses the question. i ask him again and remind him that there's no sign at the border or flyer or phone call letting anyone know this information, i must not have been properly brainwashed with the important dates to remember as an american. either that, or maybe my microchip fell out somewhere along the way.
he pitches me to the side and says "next."
and i don't move.
because i am angry. not just angry. livid! and my kid has poopy pants!
he hands me a form and tells me to bring my arkansas license in and re-take the tests. i tell him i lost my license. and he doesn't care and nexts me out the way.
OH. COME. ON.
penn and i got in the car and he screamed his ass off the entire way home. and it took us an hour and a half to get home because going anywhere during rush hour in dallas, population ho-bunch, is a nightmare. a slow slow nightmare. he cried the entire way. i only cried part of the way.
i have spent the ENTIRE day in search of a new license accompanied by a very very grumpy little boy. i am a good person. a law abiding person. i'm the kinda people you want living in your country and driving your roads.
thanks dmv, for ruining my birthday. punks.
what makes me even more angry, is benji got me a super sweet, way too expensive macro lens for my camera and i'm so angry it's hard for me to enjoy it. normally, most things just slide right off of me. i think now, that they don't really slide---they store themselves up for nice explosions like this one.
you see, i don't really do anything for my birthday. and not because i don't want to, but because it just never happens. i would LOVE to make a big deal out of it! (my kind of big deal, anyway) it just never happens, and one should not have to plan their own big deal. so i don't. and it doesn't happen.
i wanted a massage. i adore getting a massage. but, it's tuesday and i've no one to watch the tot. so, maybe this weekend . . .
i think penn and i are going to meet the benji at work and have lunch with him. i'll also go to the dmv and get a new liscense.
(more on that later . . . )
other good things that just might happen today:
my cell phone is predicted to be here before 3:00.
my cards should arrive in the post today.
with great luck the dmv will go smoothly.
perhaps even the child will maintain a consistant happy attitude.
so the time has come to grow older and i've much to be thankful for. much has changed in my life this year, with the new addition, successful artistic endeavors, and engagement. and all, may i say, is very very, very very good. we should all be as lucky as i. *grin*
so, happy birthday to me! and good day to you!
Dec 13, 2004
i will give you art. and a card.
here are three examples of the cards i made this year. 'cause some of you, and my mommy, the sweetest tiniest little asian persuasion you'll ever meet, asked what they looked like.
the following is what i've come up with so far on cd cover designs. the band is called liquid fate. i encourage feedback both for myself and the band to aide in our search for the perfect cover. i also encourage, umm, referrels. thank you, thank you, especially to the wonderful man who referred liquid fate to me, as i should really be paying him a finders free, or publicists fee for all of the photography kindness he has given me. and he hasn't griped once, even though i, for some flakey reason, still haven't gotten him the last set of photos we shot together. love you, L.!
Dec 10, 2004
i've had a lot of experience with them. i'm really really good at losing and breaking phones. this whole rant which is about to begin---prepare yourselves---begins because i lost my cell phone.
in the past, all i had to do was go to any cingular store in america and say, "hey i need a new phone because:
a) i lost it
b) my kid slobbered it to death
c) i dropped it 12 too many times
d) the battery is dead and they don't make this battery anymore, so please stop laughing at my old ass phone and give me something that works
e) i dropped it in the toilet
f) something else completely absurd
i "store located" a cingular store and called them to make sure they had phones. (sometimes your store locator will find you a guy sitting behind a cardboard box taking payment checks in the mall.) the store i called had phones----but, i would have to do go through the insurance claim people and they would MAIL me a phone. i told him my past experiences and he robotically repeated to me the same information and then added (da da da) our policies have changed because we are now happy orange logo cingular AND AT&T.
dear god. no. say it ain't so. i HATE AT&T. i, in fact, loathe with great smelly passion all phone companies. period. i have had not one single positive experience with a phone company with the exception of the brief periods where they are not royaly fucking my bill and i don't have to talk to them.
so, he says, i have to call the insurance people.
in the past, this was great! i could call the insurance people and explain to them one of the above situations. they would laugh and kindly recite for me a sacred claim number. i would take sacred claim number to a store and they would bless me with a new phone, and an upgrade every-single-time.
the fairy tale is over.
the woman on the phone has been brainwashed by corperate policy. but, if i have learned anything, persistence and questioning pays off. there is a way. and there are managers to speak to. and if you ask for a manager, they will come, and your will be done.
the insurance woman asks me where i lost the phone. i tell her i think it was at the park. she totally asks me where in the park. now. is that necassary? she asks a lot of other questions and i tell her i've had this account since 1997, she should already have my address, etc. she says she has NO RECORD OF MY ACCOUNT. well, hmmm. shouldn't that be some sort of flag? then she tells me that it will take 72 hours for them to verify my account and then we'll talk about getting you a phone.
oh, hell no. are you serious? no. this is wrong. this is not the way it has been done in the past, and i've had to do this A LOT in the past. then we get to the nitty gritty, i am a cingular customer, not AT&T. "oh," she says, "well you called the AT&T number." I CALLED THE NUMBER THE CINGULAR GUY GAVE ME. i almost yelled it. and i almost had to because penn was freaking out.
then she finds the account, gives me a lot more hell, and tells me i have to verify my make and model. we spent 13 minutes having a conversation like this:
"i don't know the make and model." "is it a g40?" repeat: "i don't know the make and model."
"maybe you have something lying around that would tell you." "like what, the magic make and model teller? no. i do not know the make and model. and, i lost my phone in case you forgot why we're on the phone in the first place, so i can't look at it to tell you." "was it a v72?" "ohmygod, I DON'T KNOW!" "does it have a little chip inside on the back?" "i don't know." "was it a s1040 with a no something screen and touch this or that super blah?" "i don't know."
"look," i said, "seriously, i don't know the make and model. isn't this something that should be on the eight year old account?" "well, it says here you have a motorola something or other." "okay then." "ma'am, you'll have to go to a cingular store to verify this information."
*visualize me melting down here . . . .*
"why would they know this and you not?" "well, you have to verify it by saying yes, this was your phone." "yes." "what?" "yes, that's my phone." "you're saying this is your phone." "yes." "are you sure?" "no." "but you want to say yes." "yes." "okay."
finally, after way way way too long, they are going to put a phone in the mail and i will get it in 5 to 7 days. and EVEN if they send me a toy fisher price elmo phone, like penn's, the $50 is non-refundable. not for any reason, she says.
tell me, why do big companies have to be so difficult? i mean, all of them! there is so much red tape, i'd rather just join a commune and talk to people face to face and grow some carrots or something. why does everything have to be registered and insured and need a password?
guess what i have to do next. go get a new drivers liscense . . .because i lost mine.
next scheduled rants:
Dec 9, 2004
You Are a "Don't Tread On Me" Libertarian
You distrust the government, are fiercely independent, and don't belong in either party.
Religion and politics should never mix, in your opinion... and you feel opressed by both.
You don't want the government to cramp your self made style. Or anyone else's for that matter.
You're proud to say that you're pro-choice on absolutely everything!
thanks to chuck at "burst transmission" for pointing me to the quiz!
Dec 8, 2004
they say there's a lot you can tell about someone by asking the question, "elvis or beatles?" and, if you answered beatles, "who's you're favorite beatle?"
i don't know what it was about john lennon, but something about him spoke to me. and even before i really understood who he was, or what he had done, i was drawn to his face. . .
and this is weird now, as i've thought so much about john that when i go to write a tribute post, i draw blank. i cannot at this moment even pick a favorite song. i cannot at this moment even say anything more clever than i think that he was a musical genius. i'm a little overwhelmed by all the things he accomplished in his life and i'm a little angry that voices in peoples heads can make them murder.
i suppose i have already payed my biggest tribute by naming my first born son after him, Penn Lennon.
Here's some Lennon on the Internet for you.
----->From BBC's "On This Day":
John Lennon was shot four times in the back by Mark Chapman who had asked the former Beatle for his autograph only hours before he laid in wait and killed him.
Chapman pleaded guilty to gunning down Mr Lennon and is currently serving life in Attica prison near New York. In October 2004 he failed for the third time to secure his release.
He said he had heard voices in his head telling him to kill the world-famous musician.
Twenty years after his death millions of fans paid tribute to Mr Lennon in his home town of Liverpool and in New York.
His widow launched a campaign against gun violence in the United States to mark the anniversary.
------->there are also some interesting music clips here. did you know michael jackson covered "come together"?
------->my mary got penn "john lennons secret dreams: the life of john lennon" for his birthday. a children's book with beautiful illustrations that explains the meaning behind many of the lines in the song. i highly recommend you peruse it next time you hit the bookstore.
------->i'm a big ole fan of john and yoko's son, sean. his first album, "into the sun" is wonderful!
i'm sorry, john, that i offer up the internet instead of something more meaningful and personal. again, i'm just overwhelmed by your contribution to the world. i think you're terrific. i wish we could have met. i'm sure we would've have gotten on swell. all my love, ---c.
currently it is toast. pumperknickle or oatmeal bread with butter, in the oven for about two minutes. i don't have a toaster. i don't want a toaster. i am somewhat anti-applience. an oven will do me fine, though i am thankful for the microwave as penn is quite impatient at meal times and i can heat his food up quickly. i'm also thankful for my handchopper because we drink a smoothie every day.
back to the subject, i can't seem to get enough of toast. it is 11:30 and i have already eaten four pieces. i know. i. know. you should have seen me when it was coke floats.
penn has been the crankiest child in the world today. a rash came out on his back sunday evening and last night he had a titch of fever. to what degree, i don't know because he firmly believes thermometers are for chewing, and not for putting in armpits. strangely enough, he doesn't mind at all if you stick it up his butt. we're going to have to have a talk when he gets older. i managed to hold it there until it was 98.8, and that was while he was pulling it out and i was putting it in over and over. putting it up his butt for accuracy was not a priority for me. i gave him motrin, which he loves, and put him to bed.
this morning, still a bit hot and CRANKY! has cried and complained all day long. he woke up from his nap and it sounded like he was having a hard time swallowing. so . . .we'll see what the dr. says later on today. poor little guy.
too bad he doesn't like toast.
there is a pigeon on my balcony. a big fat pigeon with a purple ring around his neck. driving the cats mad!
Dec 7, 2004
tonight, while penn was having "naked time" he went to the front door with benji in tow. i was sitting on the couch making myself a new wallet. i heard, "yes, penn that's outside. but, you can't go outside because you're naked. well. i guess it doesn't matter that your naked. but it's chilly. so you can't go outside because it's chilly. well. it's not that chilly. and you really want to go outside, don't you. okay. let's go outside!"
one minute later benji came bursting through the door and yelled "HONEYGOGETTHECAMERA!" and then he ran away. that phrase means emergency kodak moment is happening so run like your panties are on fire. i ran. it's an automated response. i ran, got the camera, and turned it on as i rounded the corner. one of the most remarkable things about my beloved nikon d70 is that it is ready to take a picture before you can get your finger from the on button to the shutter button. i ran all the while thinking, "what's wrong with you, go back and protect that naked child standing against the rail!"
little naked penn was standing beneath the recessed spotlight, buns out and glowing. i took a picture, as you can see, but it wasn't enough light and i haven't figured how to take a non-blurry picture in such circumstances.
cute nonetheless though, i think.
Dec 5, 2004
penn got an outfit for his birthday that benji and i would have never bought----but it was one of those outfits where i grimmace when i look at it, and then put it on the boy and cannot help but smile. we decided to take a picture and a poll to see what the general consensus is on his attire. cute? or disgustingly preppy?
*note the new robeez shoes! they were my 6th pick, seeing as how they didn't have his size in any of the designs i wanted. a little flashy, but the construction and material and function of the shoes are perfect. they are also a tiny bit big; growing room!*
we went to the mall to pick up my ring and take penn to the indoor playplace, which he ADORES. he had a blast. many children ran up to point at him and say, "dinosaurs!" with undeniable envy over the preppy sweater and gecko shoes. hee. i was amazed that in our first fifteen minutes there we saw two children who were crying because they had lost their mommy.
benji and i wonder at the perspective of some parents. we play with everyone. penn is young so we don't just turn him loose, and even if he were older i would still make sure he was always in sight. (the play area is really big with large play things to obstruct views.) so, as we follow penn through the wild and crazy children traffic that is chase and slides and play cars and babies we also interact with the other children. i met a very cute 16 mo. old named ben who i played "boo" with. it was the first time i've had another childs slobber goo on my nose that wasn't penn's. haha. he was really sweet and his mother, too was keeping close eye on him.
we have so much fun with the other children. if children come up to penn we encourage penn to interact and if it's a hit we let them be. we let them be even if a child gets territorial or pushy. we don't get mad if a child knocks penn down. and if they knock him down on purpose or shove him, we pick confused penn up and tell him we're sorry he got knocked down and if possible we ask the crazy mean deranged knocker down of babies to please be gentle and watch out for the little ones.
other parents completely ignore children not of their blood, and almost ignore the children of their blood. they sit on the sidelines meant for adults and look utterly miserable and bored or gossip on their cell phones or make angry yell at 'em business deals on their cell phones. not that there's anything wrong with this, but i feel like they're missing out on something. not to mention perhaps setting an example that "no one matters but me," which, people, just isn't true.
also, how do you lose your child by simply sitting on the sidelines? you could put me in a room of one thousand crying babies and if my baby was crying i promise you i could find him. that cry is so recognizeable to me. i can hear it over anything for miles. and one of these poor lost kids was screaming. one woman was off to find security when the mother of the lost girl showed up. she just took her hand and led her away. no comforting hug or kiss or wipe of the tears. the other lost girl, maayyybe 5 or 6 years old, was in front of us on the slide and i saw her crying. benji asked what was wrong and where her mommy was. she didn't know. i spotted a mother on the OUTSIDE of the play area with searching eyes. i could tell she was the mother and waved to her. no thank you to me for pointing out her lost little girl. no comforting hug or kiss on the forehead or wipe of the tear.
every mother is different, i guess.
i'm lucky. very very lucky because penn's innate disposition is wonderful to be around under normal circumstances. (not normal circumstance: tons of people filling his house and trying to hug, kiss and hold him all his waking hours.) i've no desire to take him somewhere and turn him lose so i can escape. i've no desire for an oncall baby sitter just so i can have a night out. i've no desire for any vacation from him. i, in fact, really have fun with my little man. he is friendly and likes to share and smiley and giggly and loves new things. he's smart. i never underestimate his little mind. i know he knows more than he's able to express to me, but still i'm surprised sometimes.
for example: penn is fascinated by the elevator at the bookstore. i get it. you push a button, it lights up, and then doors open. cool, right? i know. but we can't push the button all day long. penn can find his way to the elevator from the children's section which is really far away. usually i follow him, let him get his elevator jolly's and then take him back. finally, i decided it was time penn learned, "penn, come back here."
so, i tried it. "penn, come back here, please." AND HE DID! lo, and behold he came back to me on command! haha. and i had to say it over and over again and over and over again he came back to me. sometimes a little mad about it, but he still did it.
i tried it again at the mall when he got close to the escalator. "penn, come back here, please." SUCCESS! i am ever so proud.
he can also do head stands, find his nose, show you his tongue, try to put on glasses, fetch, deliver, cover his mouth when he coughs----yes, i know that is really impressive!---sit down, dance, fly (where he flaps his arms), throw balls, and pretend to read----this is where he turns the pages of a book and babbles, then giggles like he told a joke. there. that's my one year bragging report.
slight apologies for this long rambling somewhat boring post about my son. i've no idea what came over me. i think it's a little thing called love.
everybody now: awwwwww.
Dec 3, 2004
tonight i put penn to bed. and then smelled the pizza benji was cooking and then heard the timer go off so i knew it was done and then realized i hadn't eaten anything but pumperknickle bread and mozzerrella cheese all day and then penn crawled out of the bed to play with the clock, so i got up to eat. now, benji is back in bed with the baby. they're giggling and laughing, which is ever so cute. they're quite the father and son pair. i swear to you, no woman could resist them. i'm posting now so that when ben gets out we can watch "in america"and *gasp* maybe cuddle on the couch together.
yes cuddle. ever since the munchkin came into the world he has devoured every last bit of affection i have to offer and when he goes to sleep i've nothing left to give. i then commence cleaning up after him or doing anything else i can't fully accomplish when he's awake. simply being untouched is kind've nice when you've a one year old child who needs to touch you every other waking minute. and i love that about penn. i relish in that. i look forward to waking up with him in the morning, just so i can touch on him some more. babies are nice like that.
but, my poor wonderful benji-man has suffered. he gets good morning smoochies and good bye smoochies, and the occasional long hug where we silently miss the way we used to fall asleep on the couch together, or had room in our bed to cuddle to sleep.
in the beginning. . . .the affection was amazing. mindblowing. transcending. and we miss that. and i don't know how to get it back. and i'm every so lucky that benji believes it is not the most important aspect of a relationship. but, i'd like to feel that tingly feeling again. i'd like to be able to sit still for two minutes so we can talk and also have it be a nice talk that doesn't end in some angry batch of different opinions or misinterpretations.
perhaps it's still baby hormonal flux. that's what we've been blaming it on, anyway.
i'm happy. really very happy and content. benji and i share an amazing relationship and connection. he's a wonderful man who i admire more than anything and i'm so lucky to not only have him in my life, but to have him as the father of my son. we just miss the teenage lustful passion stuff and time to play chess that we had in the beginning.
i told him i'd want more babies soon enough and i'd be all over him like white on rice. "yes, " he said, "and then we're right back into that whole pregnancy thing, haha."advice is welcome. you're also welcome to e-mail me if you don't feel like posting it for the internets to see.